A Possible End? Those who have read this journal before will know of my wrist/hand injury from 2007. Well, despite my best efforts my drawing days may be numbered. Sometimes when my arm and hand are just resting there is a certain discomfort from the old injury. Writing my name can cause a dull pain.
My last finished drawing was completed 10/31/11. Over the past year and a half I have been trying to finish one last work I started after that. It very well may be my last piece. How the future looks for fan art, I have no idea. In any case... I think I had a good run. Thirteen years isn't that long in a person's life, but at least I accomplished well over a hundred original pieces in that time.
2016 - Well, though I am not that physically old - at least I don't think I am - I find it harder and harder to concentrate/focus as days, weeks, months, years pass. It brings about headaches and terrible fatigue. I've noticed this over time with reading. Once a voracious reader, I have dwindled substantially in that area because the thought of reading a book that is around 100 pages is daunting for me now...
This has gotten far worse. Now, even just looking at pictures via the computer for a long period can bring about a headache. I foresee updates from me no longer being monthly but sporadic... my brain keeps up at this pace of wearing down... I fear a dismally boring future. Gah... I'm not even that old! Sigh...
Feb 27, 2010, 7:45:29 AM
1. Don't mess with my stuff without asking. Examples would be using it for something you edited - like a stamp, wallpaper, background, etc. Don't copy and past it on something and then claim it is yours. Don't modify and then claim it to be yours. Don't use it to embellish something like in tile jewelry or some other such hobby. That kind of stuff. I've seen it happen to too many people on the net when surfing around.
I don't take surprises well be it well meaning or otherwise. I'm an aspie with OCD tendencies. I will freak out and the mania I have when it comes to my bipolar is dysphoria - in this case anxiety and irritability. My logic will soon override this, and I will calm down, but I would rather much prefer it not happening in the first place.
Introduction of Sorts:
This is comprised with rambling more or less should there be questions on certain topics. I don't really expect anyone to care, but it is here just in case. I'm weird like that.
I took art classes that were required in school. Therefore, the classes bored me, taught me nothing of interest in regards to techniques, most of the stuff I already knew and the lessons went down the drain for the most part. None of them were focused on anatomy, therefore I never learned. I started drawing when I was three and kept at it up to now. Therefore, my art is my "natural" style. Something tells me it will never change either - evolve maybe.
Most things I draw are along the lines of experimental, so if it looks like that, it likely is. Due to that, my style of drawing seems to fluctuate. (Particularly my fan art.) I have my own styles for original art. One is the detailed, in other words plenty of shading in pen. The other is semi-detailed, which would be when I cross-hatch or shade with pencils. The regular would be the ones of simple lines. Freakishly simple are my doodles. Fan art meanwhile has even more differential categories. Due to that my gallery looks pretty… inconsistent.
What can be said? For one, I am adding in things I drew in my past and things more recent. That is a span from year 1999 to now. Secondly, my drawings reflect my mood (and I am certainly a moody bastard), preferences and what I am trying to actually convey in the drawing at the time.
I do not draw realistically, nor do I necessarily try to do it cartoon like. I think I am somewhere in between. I remember being told in seventh grade by a boy said that people I drew looked like anime characters. I looked it up. I can see where one would think that. I often draw big eyes, small mouths and relatively pointed noses. I have ALWAYS drawn that way. Therefore, no, my drawing style is not anime influenced.
Is my style of drawing influenced by anything? These days I would have to say, no, not really. Admittedly when I started out as a child I was influenced by drawing princesses and what princesses are well known other than the Disney ones? I think they are what started the big eyes and small noses thing, actually. I never really got the style down back then, so it was all freestyle really.
The way I draw now is pretty much my own. Back when I was still in school, people mentioned they could always tell when something was drawn by me. A friend told me I have my own distinctive style. I take his word on that.
Beginning Years (Particularly 1999-2007): If the subject looks human, half the time it likely is not. I do not use models for the most part. I have been told my anatomy is seriously lacking. I do not look at things to get it right, truthfully. Even if I did, which I have before, it always comes out how it would if I never looked at all: really bad anatomy. Others may not be happy with that, but I am just dandy about it. Perfection is not something I care for when it comes to anatomy of humans or objects. I draw things I want to see, even if what comes out on paper is not realistically correct. The mind is not always limited to reality.
When you look at my drawings for the most part, think of Van Gogh in his later years when his paintings became messy, okay? He is the closest that comes to mind, in regards to what I am getting at. I am not going for literal. What I do is free forming. La chambre de Van Gogh à Arles (Van Gogh's Room at Arles) would be a good example of free forming I should think.
The rare times I do use models or references are when I actually DO try something "correctly". Those examples would be when starting out on fan art or when doing something that really is supposed to be realistic.
Later Years: (2007+): I'm drawing humans a bit more often. In order to do those I do use references on occasion. I do still suck with anatomy, but I'm better, I think. I do hope to recapture my times of drawing without so much anatomical structure when I feel like it though - sometimes structure gets boring.
I do fan art off and on. Usually it IS an anime character. After looking into what anime was, I grew some interest. If I do fan art my beginning tries tend to look a lot like the original style rather than mine. That is usually to get myself trained on how the eyes slant, hair is styled and all of that fun stuff. The second reason is to make the character recognizable right away. I find it a bloody pain. It is later on do I slowly make a combination of my style and the original style.
Because of this, my fan art drawings are very inconsistent with styles. Depending on what I am going for, the style can range from looking very close to the official character designs, a combination of the original designs and my own flair, a combination of the original designs and realistic, a combination of my style and realistic, my style all together, et cetera... What usually determines the drawing style used is the mood I am in and/or the setting I want to place the characters in.
Tools of Trade:
I use limited tools. In other words, all of the things are either cheap or not usually used. I use whatever pen I can find and draw. I dislike pencils for complete works; therefore, I rarely do any drawings with them. I mainly color with pen or colored pencils. I tend to use markers for backgrounds, though. I shade with pens or the ink from markers.
On occasion I do use artist specific tools. I've used Prismacolor colored pencils and markers. I care little for the colored pencils opposed to most, though. Recently (2011) I tried out some artist pens. They are okay. I'll likely still mainly stick to a good old school pencil, writing pen and Crayola colored pencils, though.
For coloring using the computer, I do not use Adobe Photoshop or Paintshop Pro... In fact, I have never used either before. I mainly used ArcSoft PhotoStudio® 3.0from 1999 to 2008 since it was the only thing on this computer I have. I think it came out in 1998 or 1999.
Year 2008, I discovered Gimp. I use it to color my fanart most of the time now, but still use PhotoStudio® 3.0 for editing, touching up and so forth.
Recently (2011) my computer showed a blue screen. While I salvaged what I could, I lost my beloved Arcsoft PhotoStudio® 3.0. I haven't the CD for it anymore, so it is good as gone. I'll have to find a replacement program (possibly programs) that suits me for the same purposes. That shall be hard - the things I'm looking for likely no longer are available in most image editors these days. Sigh...
Oh, and in regards to my adding others' works as favorites and not leaving comments... That is how I am. "Actions speak louder than words." I would sum it up in that phrase.
To those who leave comments, critiques or complements… I likely won't respond unless it is something like a question. I don't lack in response to be rude, but rather in mute shock and awkwardness. I suck at interaction.
I can write like mad, this "entry" being proof. However, when it comes to truly communicating with someone and not droning on… I'm dumb-founded. I hide the Devious Comments left below because they either embarrass me (awkwardness), shock me or I haven't the slightest as to what to write.
Truthfully, when people like what I draw, favorite or add me to their watch list I am somewhat awestruck and confused. Therefore, I tend to really just keep silent and remain perplexed.
The best bet on getting me to respond is sending a note.
I learn things by trial and error and usually have no one see my process. Therefore, if critiqued, simple words and much explanation will likely be required. When I say I am a moron, I mean it. I am slow at understanding things.
In all truth I am grateful you have taken the time to look through my gallery. If you like my art, thank you, but I am truly bewildered as to why. If you explain why, I'll understand intellectually but will remain dumbfound and likely uncomfortable. I'm an awkward son of a gun when it comes to people. Therefore, please forgive me if I avoid responding. In truth I am likely "tongue-tied" mentally.
Another thing to mention would be not to steal. I always question why someone would steal my things since I have seen extremely better works than mine. Still though, there is always the possibility. All I can say is... you steal, you suck. I am quite aware there is little to nothing one can do to prevent art stealing. Once it is stolen though, you can most certainly badger the person about stealing it...
In conclusion, I do not know much about art, but I know what I like. As a friend said "Most people are just interested in 'art' for the sake of it being 'art' they just want to put their own expectations on it." When you look at things I draw, please, do not expect things. Expectations cause disappointments.
Well... there you go.